Had come across a set of very beautiful pictures, almost 3 weeks
ago. Writing about it has been on my mind, since.
First of all, hope all you fellow readers are in the best of
health and happiness ☺️
We strive to live a very content and happy life, don't we? For
that, we try and find whatever that takes us to it- good education, good job,
good partner, good life, find success some way or the other... while all of the
aforementioned is important, haven’t we seen the balance falling apart most of
the time, especially today? Around 85% of the people I have met are in a race -
a race against time, a race to satisfy their financial needs, a race to meet
their professional highs, a race to socially rise- all of it, by losing
something very near and dear to them - families... friendships...
Lets say, we do achieve all that- who other than yourself are
going to be ecstatic about it? Hmm🤔, exactly my point.
Have we really thought about what we are doing to our families?
Why do you think mother’s have been blessed with a sixth sense on their child?
Why are there too many youngsters facing issues arising from not having a
proper childhood? I am not generalizing any situation- yes, careers are for
everyone, yes-women should have ambitions. But why are we comparing our
careers- with our children??? How come they lie on the same wavelength? Let me
put a blank sheet of paper in front of you, please answer these questions for
yourself-
- Do you have
dreams for your child?
- Do you want your
child to be well mannered?
- Do you think you
can split your time in such a way that your child gets all the attention
they need?
- Do you think- a
nanny- however well trained and educated he/she is- can help your child grow
into what you envisioned they would be?
- How sure are
you- that your absence wont be felt?
- When you say-‘
oh hes just a baby, he doesn't know anything yet?’, do you recognize, how
wrong you are?
I have focused mainly on the mother’s side here, only, because a
lot of women although mom guilt bites them, sometimes are blinded towards
these very simple truths. Don’t get me wrong. I respect all working women and I
understand how some cannot do without jobs- its a huge financial risk- I bow
down to such strong women. What I’ve mentioned here is for a part of the mom
tribe, who somehow, has this whole concept- completely flying over the top of
their heads. For reasons of their own, which are mostly non financial- they
still tend to neglect the child( in their terms they do everything that the
child needs, except for being physically there...) I am not judging anyone, but
its high time a child stop paying the price for the lack of attention from the
parent’s side.
Now this, is a comparatively rare case, as mothers are angels❤️ usually, they fight all the evil that will affect their
child.
To all the father’s reading this- please go back to those 6
questions, and read them as if it were being asked to you...fathers are a
beautiful tribe of their own, they are the traditional bread winners and
willingly sacrifice a lot of things just so that the family moves on. Buuut,
and this ‘but’ is pretty huge- are we giving too much priority to our work/
social success that we completely forget to see the emotional need our child
has? Are you constantly on video meetings that you have to keep your family
calls only on Sundays- and even those are interrupted by clients. You will die
at some point in your life, why are you willingly taking the decision of
raising a generation who cannot handle an inch of stress/ rejection? Is my non
stop questioning making you realize at least a bit, that somewhere along the
line, we all need to keep a check on our priorities?
Lets focus on a different set of our population now- the youth. Millennial as they are called in this era- single, married, divorced, in a
relationship- whatever might be the status, they are somebody’s child and
somebody’s friend( or would have been somebody’s really good friend at a point
of time). Too busy at work to attend your wife’s call. Lets rephrase that- too
busy at work ‘after hours’ to attend wife’s repeated calls, and on picking up
finds out that it was to remind you to wish your mom on her birthday... ummm if
you feel like shit then, yeah- you earned yourself that feeling. If knowing
that you forgot your moms birthday doesn't incite any feeling in you- my friend,
its high time you need a break from stress☺️the very fact that you
are constantly missing certain moments in life, in itself should serve as a wake-up
call. If you are losing your chuddy buddies along your way to mount success,
pause..breathe..one day you will be 60 and retired- without memories and good
friends, wouldn’t it be lonely then? A good friend is a gem you should never
give up for anything in the world.
So is a good partner. Usually we end up finding faults with our
partners, don't we? ‘He doesn't give me enough time. She always complaints. He
gives priority to everyone else but me. She says I don't help at home, I am
tired after a day of work- why cant she understand that?’ And so oooon. Now go
back and read all these things again, but from a different perspective- each of
those statements are as a result of one partner ignoring the needs of the
other. It is a boomerang effect- you don't give me time, the spouse’s way of
responding is- I will try to get your attention by complaining, so that you
will at least see my emotions then.
I just mentioned an example, this is a huge ring of issues- one
results from another, and forms a chain. Until and unless one of you decides to
bite your ego, focus on what YOU are doing and not what your partner is, and
sensibly talk about it, this chain will grow new roots. Let me give you a
practical example- if you are a lady and u realize that you have the habit of irritatingly
complaining( though you don't want to do it), just sit with him over a cup of
tea and randomly bring up this topic with a, ‘ hey listen, I know I complain to
you a lot, and I’m really sorry about it. See, I don't want to do it, but it has
become my automatic reaction when you don't notice that I am also human, and I
also need attention, a nice word, a little expression of niceness and love-
especially from you. when I don't get it, I kind of resort to complaining☺️ sooo just understand why
I do it ok, and yea- notice me more’ (haha, smoothly asking for attention😉)
If you are a man and you feel you take your partner for granted,
again over a cup of tea- ‘listen, I’m sorry. I know you spend all your time for
us and you rarely get appreciated. Just know that I appreciate and love you,
even though I don't say it much. Lets try and do some of our housework together,
sometimes, shall we?’
Its as simple as that, a little bit of care and partnership goes
a long way. The problem arises when there is a lot of ‘I, me, my job, my house,
my work’ creeps into a conversation, rather than ‘us, our home, our children,
our income’.
In short, life is and should be beautiful. Try not to measure it
with your financial abilities, instead enjoy the little things. Even an 8 rs
bus ride could be an enriching memory, if your child is in your arms and your
spouse is smiling at your child experiencing the wind in his hair. Make time
for what is important. Always be available for your family. Be in touch with
your close friends ( maybe it is them that need you more, and you never knew
what they were going through). Parents, please stop fighting in front of your
children, they WILL get affected by it. Make time for your partner, share your
daily responsibilities, shed our egos, build love, make peace and live happily☺️
Loads of love,
Farheen.
PS: All my examples have tea in them😉
undying love for chai 😂
