Why marriage is everyone's cup of tea...:)

Wedding season is on, and this time I have 3 of my closest relatives getting married. Sigh! makes me want to jump right on to a plane :D
The title speaks for itself today. Soooo, Do you think marriage is not for you? Let me rephrase it to a much more sensible question- Why do you think marriage is not for you? 

Some sort of fear creeps into people when they hear the word, 'marriage'. It seems as if its a roadblock to a normal life, when it is exactly these people, that are the one's who have been in a relationship, for a loooong time.
Well, I don't understand what the difference is, actually. Isn't it exactly the same as living together? No? There is no particular reason why a piece of paper(the marriage contract) should make anybody feel queasy. Haven't you already made a commitment in your mind? I'm guessing so.
:D I can give you a million reasons why marriage is good for you but you are going to remain unconvinced, in case you are one among those-->'Commitment Phobics;)'

Well, anyways, let me slightly slide offtrack and let you- yes, YOU- the one's who have actually built up the courage to get married, know, what to expect, and 3/4th of the times, what actually happens, when you get hitched..

First of all, its an amazing feeling to know, that, this one person will always be yours, from the day on forth. All you brides to be are having fantasies of unicorns and cotton candies eh???
Well, its going to be just that:)
Lets browse through...

Phase 1: The Dreamy Sweetpie.

In Indian and Muslim cultures, we have this custom of-'Girl sees guy', which is usually done to make sure, that they do have something in common, and that one finds the other, attractive. Once we get the OK from both sides, there is a small gap of time where you are stunned at yourself :D, the ''OMG!! Me and getting married!!!:O'', reaction.
After the slow awkward start of  whatsapping your partner, you gradually try and find some common ground. You start being concious of how you look, what he/she might like on you, try taking pics at angles which are sure to make his/her heart beat away...(:D, yep! I've done that one. Skilled Photography, you know;))

You try to talk about your day, find things to make your conversations interesting, do things to make him/her smile. Oh! and by the way, the most important of it all, day dream... of what life will be like(oh yea! this time around, nobody sees the thorns under the roses *winik*wink*)
You, without a choice, become, the dreamy sweetpie.

Phase II: The Wedding Mania

The one day, you want everything to be perfect. Your dress, the venue, your makeup, the food, the music... just everything. 
Most probably, the day of your wedding, when you are legally bound to your spouse, talking to them in front of all those watchful eyes, is going to be sweetly awkward. Although you might counter saying,''Shy? and me? No way!", I just think that's your defense mechanism.
And well hey, its nice to experience that shyness at least once :D.
The wedding, hopefully will glide by smoothly, leaving everyone happy and smiley and not to forget- dead tired.
You might not expect it, but guess what- you probably will be sleeping like a log the next day...because you were standing , smiling and greeting everyone the whole day. duh!(what did you guys think eh??...you gutterheads :D) Well yea, point to be clearly stated, however romantic you might have pictured it to be, the first night is going to be awkward anyway, with both of you not being able to understand where your personal spaces end, which will probably pave ways for a lot of laughs and conversations.

Phase III: The Anniversaries

This includes weekly, half yearly and yearly anniversaries. Since all of it is going to be for the first time, there will always be something very special about it.
Time flies my friend, you'll notice that for sure, and a lot of things along with that. You will now slowly realize that you cannot make your spouse the exact version of your dreams, especially when it is concerned with his or her habits. :D. Well during this phase he/she is going to ''try'' and do things your way. You will learn a lot about each other's lives and your family chemistry. 
It is during this phase that you build the amazing bond of protectiveness, where anybody but you, have the right to say anything about your spouse. You do not like anybody commenting about your spouse's any particular behavior, when actually, you might have said the same thing in the first place. Yea, the possessiveness, exactly.
You probably might have gone through a first fight, during the first year. The pain you go through the first time both of you find, that, sometimes, as humans, you guys cant understand each other as well as you thought you could. Well, actually, both of you will hurt equally and you wouldn't want to feel that pain. Both of you would want to make up and be ready to understand the other's concerns, which is what usually happens[unless you are that stubborn]. The little fights and sadness will bring you guys closer though.

Phase IV: The Rest Of Your Life

This is by far, the most exciting of all the phases. Don't believe me? Well, you have to look at it through my eyes :).
You have been cut and paste, with the God-given piece of your life. So, instead of whining about all the things you had to let go, you should start to count your blessings in disguise.
Marriage, my dear, is a continuous learning process. It teaches you a lot of good things. First up,

• Patience...:D Yea, you do need tonnes of that to smoothly float in this ocean.
• Anger Management: You'll slowly realize that letting go of some stuff for a few hours and not reacting to it  right away, is a foolproof formula, for the one who did the mistake, to regret and realize what they had done.
• Care: Gradually, it will come naturally to every spouse.
• Understanding: This, takes time to build. And by time, I mean, Years. Time coupled with unconditional love=gooood understanding.
• That nothing is free: Contrary to popular belief, love is not enough. You need a lot of effort to keep a marriage going. Do fun stuff, cook new food, walk over the waves, sit and enjoy some alone time....(and the list goes on. This you can figure out for yourself.)

There! You have it, newbies. Don't be scared of the relationship you are going to be in, instead, embrace it with love and modesty. There are no hard and fast rules as to what works- it's all a personalised bowl of emotions and interests.

The only thing you need to know is, be patient enough to understand each other, maybe your way is not the right way at all, and his is :D(I meant to say, sometimes follow his rules, woman:P).

Let me go and check the itinerary for the flight that I din't book, to go for the wedding that is already over:(...... On the other hand, let me stop crying and go irritate my husband *wink*(best time pass ever!!)


Loadsa love,
Farheen :)


Feel free to comment :) Always looking forward to knowing what you think.