Monday 1 April 2019

Moved on after a break up? Good, this is for you 😊


This is my all time favorite topics to discuss- relationships. I love everything about it, how it begins, the butterflies in the stomach, the jealousy, the unbearable love, the trust, the misunderstandings, the patch ups, everything... But, have you noticed that not all amazing relationships end in ‘they lived happily ever after’? Also how people DO move on after being in relationships that everyone around them was in awe of? Let’s have some reality check, shall we?
 
Just like falling in love is one of the most normal things in this world, so is falling out of it. It’s just that, falling out of love takes a lot of effort, time, healing, self understanding, and opening your life to new things, new people, to a new beginning that you will slowly learn to love.  Breakups happen for a very good reason- I don’t think everybody in the immediate circle knows exactly why someone broke up, so they eventually play the blame game; but the 2 individuals involved will have their reasons- personal, familial, whatever that might be. Breakups is not my topic for today, rather, why it’s ok to have had a breakup, and now want to move on, is what I want to talk about.
I’ve known a lot of people who had amazing relationships but most of which ended in a breakup, and they, in time, did marry a completely new person, who makes a really good life partner for them. The thing is, many feel that it’s not ok to have had a previous relationship. That thought might be arising from a place of concern and love for their current partner, but hey, what we are thinking about, is a relationship that happened in the past. IT IS OK MY DEAR😊. It is ok to have felt a basic human emotion for a person of the opposite sex. It is ok that someone was in your life before, and it didn’t work. It is not your fault, nor is it his/her fault. Situations arise where there is no other option left but to let go, and move on. Stop hurting deep inside when someone still nag you years later saying, ‘oh ok, but you should have made a li’l more effort’, PAUSE, BREATHE, you know your truth, you know your reality, you as a grown human being made a decision, and it’s absolutely fine. Nobody will be able to see it from your perspective, so don’t expect anybody to understand, and feel content that you know you chose what is best at that time for everybody involved. Basically what I’m trying to say is, be cool with your decisions and don’t let anybody leave you second guessing.
For those who have been in a very long relationship, broke up, and trying to move on- I feel you😊 It’s not easy but the pain you feel is bearable, you probably think otherwise. Let’s look at the positive side of things shall we? I’m not going to act naive, and say that you’ll never be happy with anyone else, because YOU WILL BE😊 I deeply believe in fate, in the ‘someone somewhere is made just for you’ concept, because otherwise, most of us would be walking zombies right here! 

The good you can take from a breakup??? There’s many. For instance, the intense pain and heartache that its going to cause you...Man! You’ll without a doubt rise as a wounded soldier. You’ll learn slowly, how to take rejections in life and look at it in a completely different light. It will help you become stronger as a person. Having been in a relationship helps you identify the things (the basic ones) that you should or shouldn’t be doing in a future relationship. It will most often make it easier to understand the other person in a new relationship. If you ask me, will we be able to forget someone we loved that much??? Honestly, no. When someone plays that much of a significant role in your life, they become a very important part of your memory, BUT, with time, they slowly fade and occupy some of the least read pages of your heart, because that is what happens, and what probably is right, if you are looking to move on and want a happy life with the one you are with now. What good does over thinking about past stories do for anyone??? Always, always take the good from your past, learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them. Make new ones 😄(mistakes that is). Every human being comes with a story of their own, stop judging and start appreciating. If your partner had a previous relationship, its fine, accept it, because you know what- he/she is with you now, and if they trust you enough to share this with you, chances are they have a place for you that nobody can ever take, so please don’t think too much of it. We were created such that attraction plays a huge huge role right from adolescence, so someone being in love- once, twice, thrice... shouldn’t come as a surprise, as long as the one sharing their story with you is the one who decided that you are the new beginning to their life.


Stay positive, stay happy😊
Adios!